How Nervous System Safety Can Heal Your Relationship With Food

Karin Lund, MS. CN

“The answer comes down to one simple question: How safe do we feel?” – Stephen Porges

If you’ve ever found yourself staring into the fridge after a long day, looking for something—anything—to take the edge off, you’re not alone. For many of us, food isn’t just fuel. It’s comfort. It’s coping. It’s survival.

But what if our eating habits weren’t about willpower or discipline at all? What if they were responses to a nervous system that doesn’t feel safe?

In this blog, I want to explore the science of safety—through the lens of Polyvagal Theory—and how it profoundly shapes our food behaviors and our relationship to our bodies. As a functional medicine nutritionist, I’ve spent years supporting clients through metabolic and hormonal healing. But no protocol, no matter how personalized or nutrient-dense, can outpace a body that is stuck in survival mode.

Healing begins when we feel safe. And one of the most powerful ways to return to safety is by coming home to your body—through rhythm, nourishment, and connection.

Polyvagal Theory: The Biology of Safety

Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory provides a foundational framework for understanding how our nervous system constantly scans for cues of safety or danger. This process is automatic. It happens beneath our conscious awareness, shaping our behavior, physiology, and even our cravings.

Our autonomic (automatic) nervous system has three primary states:

1. Safety + Connection (Ventral Vagal)

   When we feel safe, we can connect, digest, think clearly, and heal. This is the state our bodies are biologically designed to spend most of our time in—the state where our hormones are balanced

2. Fight or Flight (Sympathetic)

   When danger is detected, we mobilize. Blood sugar rises. Cortisol spikes. Digestion shuts down. Food cravings increase as the body looks for quick energy.

3. Freeze + Shutdown (Dorsal Vagal)

   When threat feels overwhelming or persistent, the system collapses. Energy drops. Motivation disappears. This state is often mistaken for laziness or depression but is actually a survival adaptation.

These states aren’t just psychological—they’re deeply physiological. They shape how we digest, store fat, experience hunger, and relate to food.

When we don’t feel safe, self-regulation narrows. We turn to food not just for pleasure, but to soothe, stimulate, or numb—depending on our state. From a biological perspective, that bag of cookies or glass of wine is often standing in for a nervous system tool we never learned to use.

The Sugar Survival Loop: A Trauma-Adapted Pattern

In states of chronic stress or dysregulation, many of us unknowingly enter what I call the Sugar Survival Loop.

Here’s how it works:

• You’re burned out and depleted (dorsal vagal freeze).

• Cravings arise—not from weakness, but from your body trying to mobilize.

• You eat the thing. Your blood sugar spikes. Cortisol rises. You feel temporarily motivated (sympathetic activation).

• Then comes the crash. Blood sugar plummets. The nervous system retreats back into shutdown.

This loop is not a flaw—it’s a brilliant, trauma-adapted strategy, doing it’s best to keep you in the game. For many people, especially those with histories of chronic stress, emotional neglect, or hormonal disruption, food becomes a tool the body uses to cope, to regulate, and to survive. That might look like reaching for sugar, processed snacks, caffeine, alcohol, or even seemingly “healthy” foods that are rich in carbs, fats, or salt. The body isn’t broken—it’s trying to move toward safety the best way it knows how.

But over time, the cost of this strategy adds up:

• Insulin resistance

• Hormonal imbalance

• Gut inflammation

• Weight gain

• Emotional volatility

• And perhaps most importantly—a deepening sense of disconnection from the body

In moments of shame, we retreat even further, perpetuating the cycle. This pattern erodes not just our metabolic health but also our self-trust. We begin to question our willpower, blame our bodies, and feel broken. The truth is, the Sugar Survival Loop isn’t a sign of failure—it’s a body running an outdated script. What once served as a survival strategy no longer benefits us.

Healing doesn’t mean suppressing these impulses. It’s about reconnecting with ourselves and rewriting the story through rhythm, relationship, and regulation.

Why Functional Nutrition Alone Isn’t Enough

As a functional medicine nutritionist, I believe in the power of food as medicine. But I’ve seen clients make all the right changes—eating whole foods, increasing protein, taking supplements—and still feel stuck. They follow a meal plan carefully, yet a small change (like a three-pound weight gain) can trigger fear, making them feel unsafe and out of control in their own body.

The reason? You can’t heal a survival pattern by only addressing symptoms. If the nervous system still perceives danger, no amount of protein or supplements will make it feel safe. There’s no perfect meal plan that can talk our bodies out of a state of stress. Healing starts with re-establishing a felt sense of safety—not just intellectually, but physically.

Embodied Safety: Why Movement Matters

The body doesn’t speak English—it speaks sensation. rhythm. breath. To help it feel safe, we have to speak its language. As Deb Dana puts it, this is the Rhythm of Regulation—communicating safety through pattern, pace, and presence.

This is where embodied movement comes in. Moving with awareness—whether through dancing, walking in nature, or deep breathing—can be a powerful way to reconnect with safety. It offers a safe outlet for stored energy, allowing us to mobilize without fear, build trust in our capacity to move with ease, and gently shift the nervous system toward regulation.

Through rhythm, breath, and emotion, embodied movement helps the body transition between states more fluidly. It stimulates the vagus nerve and brings us into the ventral vagal state—where healing, digestion, hormonal balance, and true nourishment become possible.

Since healing begins in the body—not just the mind—moving with awareness sends clear signals of safety to the nervous system, helping us shift out of fear and into connection. This is how movement becomes medicine: a way to change the story from the inside out.

Embodied Movement as Nervous System Medicine

So what does this look like in daily life?

When we bring the body into the healing process, we shift from coping to rewiring. These practices aren’t about doing more—they’re about doing differently. Small, consistent cues of safety help re-pattern the nervous system, building trust in the body’s ability to self-regulate.

Below are a few simple, accessible ways to speak the body’s language and support healing through embodied practice:

Dance & Playful Movement

Rhythmic movement activates the vagus nerve and helps us discharge stress. Joyful movement—especially to music—regulates both mood and energy.

Try this: Put on a favorite song and let your body move freely. Even a few minutes can shift your state.

Music & Voice

Humming, singing, or chanting vibrates the vagus nerve, which helps turn on the body’s relaxation response. Music with kind tones and rhythm can help us feel anchored and alive.

Try this: Start your day with a calming playlist, or hum while cooking or driving.

Breathwork

Long, slow exhales tell the body it's not running from a threat. This shifts us from fight-or-flight into a state of rest, digestion, and repair.

Try this: Inhale for 4, exhale for 8. Do this 3–5 times to settle your system.

Grounding

Touching the earth—through bare feet, gardening, or simply sitting outside—can lower stress hormones and bring a sense of calm. Grounding helps us reorient to the present moment.

Try this: Step outside and place both feet on the ground. Take three deep breaths and notice the air, sounds, and textures around you.

Nutrition

At the cellular level, food is information. Nutrient-dense meals give your body what it needs to create energy, reduce inflammation, and feel safe. Blood sugar stability is key to emotional stability, helping regulate mood and reduce internal stress signals. Just as important is reducing foods that the body may interpret as a threat—like sugar, alcohol, caffeine, wheat, dairy, or processed foods. This requires deep honesty, presence, and a willingness to listen to how your body truly responds.

Try this: Start your day with a balanced meal that includes protein, healthy fat, and fiber—before caffeine or sugar.

Community

Safe social connection is one of the most powerful forms of regulation. Eye contact, kind voices, and being seen and received can calm the nervous system more deeply than any supplement. It’s also okay to say no to people, places, and interactions that leave you feeling drained or disconnected. Prioritizing peace in your relationships is a form of self-respect—and regulation.

Try this: Share a meal, go on a walk, or call a friend who feels steady to you.

These simple, embodied practices may seem small, but they are profoundly healing. They remind the body that it’s safe to soften, breathe, and receive nourishment—one moment at a time.

If you’re still searching for your “thing,” I invite you to come find it wit

h us. Join our HartsSpace team and special guest Lindsay Miller-Stokes for our new Coming Home to Your Body series—or meet us at our Summer Retreat, where we’ll ground into nature and reconnect with our bodies.

This isn’t about fixing your body.

It’s about returning to it.

It’s about learning—through movement—that you are safe now.

You are not failing.

You are healing.

And healing moves.

Reflection Prompt: Where Does Safety Live for You?

• What are some cues your body gives when it feels unsafe?

• When do you feel most grounded, most connected, most alive?

• What rhythms—meals, music, moments—help you return to yourself?

Want to go deeper?

Subscribe to keep learning how nutrition can create an internal sense of safety. And if you're curious about the deeper science behind survival patterns and functional nutrition, join the waitlist for my upcoming Sugar Survival Loop ebook—coming soon.

👉 Click here to join the waitlist!